Shifting Priorities During Cancer
- TV personality Teddi Mellencamp, 43, is caring less about hair loss due to cancer treatment these days and really just “grateful” to be “feeling better” amid stage 4 melanoma fight.\
- The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Alum, daughter of classic rocker John Mellencamp, 73, explained her current mindset in an Instagram post on Monday, explaining that she is less bothered these days when people ask about her hair. And understandably so after having four tumors removed from her brain in February following a devastating stage four diagnosis, her battle has evolved, and with it, her priorities.
- At this stage, a better quality of life is more important for most, but that doesn’t mean Mellencamp can’t change her mind about her hair and appearance when she feels like it. Every person is different. For many, looking like their normal selves may help their fight and give them a boost on more challenging days. The key, as always, is to have no judgment.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Alum, daughter of classic rocker John Mellencamp, 73, explained her current mindset amid her emotional journey in an Instagram post on Monday.
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“At this point it doesn’t upset me when people ask because I am grateful that most days I am feeling better,” Mellencamp added, signing off with what appears to be her higher priority: “Next round of immunotherapy in 2 days!”
Since her initial diagnosis in 2022 and numerous surgeries, Mellencamp has been open about her journey on social media, encouraging others to stay on top of skin health and get regular check-ups for early skin cancer.
“It’s about more than just looks—hair represents normalcy, control, and feeling like yourself in the midst of a storm,” Mellencamp shared in a prior post, and on March 12, conveyed how her feelings may change from day to day, which she and millions of other survivors are entitled to.
“Some days you feel like a wig, some days you don’t,” the Indiana native captioned a side-by-side of her rocking a shaved head vs. wearing a sleek, flat-ironed blonde wig (and looking gorgeous in both).
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But now, after having four tumors removed from her brain in February following a devastating stage four diagnosis, her battle has evolved, and with it, her priorities, understandably.
Coping with a Stage 4 Melanoma Diagnosis
Mellencamp had shaved her head before going into her last surgery. “For the last several weeks I’ve been dealing with severe and debilitating headaches. Yesterday the pain was unbearable and required hospitalization,” she wrote at the time.
“After a CT scan and MRI, doctors found multiple tumors on my brain, which they believe have been growing for at least 6 months. Two of the tumors will be surgically removed today — The remaining smaller tumors will be dealt with via radiation at a later date.”
Mellencamp continued, “I am blessed to be surrounded by my children, family, friends, doctors, nurses and surgeons who are doing everything possible to get me back into better health. Thank you to everybody who has reached out, and to everyone who has supported me along the journey.”
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Adding to this stressful time, the mom of three and her husband of 14 years, entrepreneur Edwin Arroyaveare, 48, have reportedly decided to continue with their divorce, which was on pause in November due to her health challenges.
As Mellencamp mentioned, feeling good is now a higher priority, as a better quality of life is understandably more important at this time, but that doesn’t mean she can’t change her mind about her hair and appearance when she feels like it. Every person is different. For many, looking like their normal selves may help their fight and give them a boost on more challenging days. The key, as always, is to have no judgment.
Options for Managing Hair Loss During Cancer Treatment
Wigs and Head Coverings
Many patients opt for wigs, scarves, or hats to maintain a sense of normalcy and control over their appearance during treatment. Selecting a wig that closely resembles one’s natural hair can provide comfort and boost confidence. The SurvivorNet community emphasizes that finding a suitable wig can help individuals feel more like themselves during this challenging time.
Scalp Cooling Caps
Scalp cooling caps, also known as cold caps, are devices worn before, during, and after chemotherapy sessions to reduce blood flow to the scalp. This constriction can help minimize hair follicle exposure to chemotherapy drugs, potentially reducing hair loss. While results vary, some patients have found these caps effective in preserving their hair.
Embracing the Bald Look
Like Mellencamp, some people choose to embrace hair loss by shaving their heads, finding empowerment in owning their new appearance. This approach can alleviate the anxiety of watching hair gradually fall out and provide a sense of control over the situation.
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Understanding Melanoma
Melanoma is a type of skin cancer that starts in the same cells that give your skin, hair and eyes their color. The American Cancer Society estimates that about 104,960 new melanomas will be diagnosed in the United States in 2025.
And while the ACS says the risk of melanoma increases as people age with the average age of diagnosis being 65, the disease is not uncommon among those younger than 30. In fact, it’s one of the most common cancers in young adults (especially young women).
The disease can develop from an existing mole or appear as a dark or pink growth on the skin even in places on the body that never see the sun. It’s also known to be the deadliest form of skin cancer.
“Melanomas are the deadliest type of skin cancer because they have a tendency to spread to other parts of the body,” explains Dr. Anna Pavlick, a medical oncologist with Weill Cornell Medicine who specializes in treating skin cancer.
Ninety percent of melanomas are caused by ultraviolet radiation from the sun. This means excessive time in the sun even as a child puts you at a higher risk.
Paying Attention to Your Skin
Keeping an eye on the moles or growths on your skin is an easy way to keep an eye out for melanoma. Changes to a mole you’ve had for a while or developing a new growth you don’t remembering having on your skin could be signs of this cancer, according to SurvivorNet’s experts.
Dr. Cecilia Larocca of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute gives SurvivorNet an overview of things to look out for with moles using the ABCDE self-screening method:
- Asymmetrical moles: “If you drew a line straight down the center of the mole, would the sides match?”
- Borders that are “irregular, jagged, not smooth.” It can also stand for bleeding.
- Colors: “Multiple distinct colors in the mole.”
- Diameter: “Larger than 6mm, about the size of a pencil head eraser.”
- Evolution: “This may be the most important,” she says. “Anything that is changing over time such as gaining color, losing color, painful, itching, hurting, changing shape, etc.”
Examining your skin for melanoma remember ABCDE
Spots on our skin are often harmless, but it’s still important to keep an eye on them and reach out to your doctor if you see any changes or find a growth anywhere on your skin that looks suspicious.
Handling Fear When You Get the Diagnosis
It would be very out of the ordinary if you didn’t feel scared when faced with a serious illness such as melanoma. Anxiety and fear are certainly normal reactions to the news that you have cancer, let alone an advanced stage.
Acknowledging these emotions can be therapeutic and important to the healing process, according to SurvivorNet experts.
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Here are some tips on how to confront your fears without letting them take over entirely:
1. Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
2. Keep a journal. It can be extremely cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a nice journal and chronicle your different thoughts throughout the day.
3. Join a cancer support group. There are groups in nearly every community offering opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn incredibly helpful insight from others who can tell you about what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
4. Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.
Additionally, Dr. Dana Chase, a Gynecologic Oncologist at UCLA Health, says it’s important to try to focus on the good, stay positive, and do things that bring you joy to the degree you’re able to do so amid battling a disease like cancer.
“We know, actually from good studies, that emotional health, quality of life is associated with survival, meaning better quality of life is associated with better survival, better outcomes.” Dr. Chase said in an earlier interview.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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