The Importance of Caregiving
- After her mother’s stage 1 breast cancer diagnosis, “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Cynthia Bailey, 59, immediately stepped in as a devoted caregiver while continuing to work and be present for her family.
- Being a caregiver is challenging and deeply rewarding. Taking occasional breaks from the role can help you recharge and provide the highest-quality care.
- To avoid caregiver burnout—the stress, anger, fatigue, and illness that can result from putting another person’s needs above your own—our experts recommend taking time for yourself. Research suggests that caregivers who take good care of themselves can also provide the best quality of care.
- For more resources on support for caregivers, sign up for SurvivorNet’s caregivers guide.
Speaking to EBONY magazine, Bailey explained, “When my mom was diagnosed, it was a no-brainer for me to step in as her caregiver. For me, it wasn’t about ‘Okay, how much will all of this cost, I’ll pay for it.’ I wanted to be there physically because it’s what she would and has done for me.
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She continued, “My sister, brother and I made sure to each be there how and when we could. While I couldn’t completely give up working—and she wouldn’t have wanted me to—I did make the necessary sacrifices to ensure I could be around as much as possible.
“Whether that meant setting up my computer to work remotely or taking important meetings from her home so that she at least saw me and knew I was there in support.”
Bailey said she made a conscious effort to lift her mother’s spirits throughout treatment by offering reassurance and a positive perspective.
Noting how staying hopeful despite what may come is “part of the healing process,” adding, “They have to feel like they will be okay, to actually be okay.”
Expert Caregiving Resources
- Caregiving Isn’t Easy; Recognize That You May Need Help
- Caregiving: An Opportunity for Healing
- Here Are Top Tips for Cancer Caregivers To Help Them Through the Process
- Caregivers Can’t Provide Optimal Care for Their Loved Ones with Cancer If They Don’t Care for Themselves
- How Embracing the Role of Cancer Caregiver Brought Iowa Couple Closer & Strengthened Their Marriage
Bailey, whose mom is now cancer free, hopes her mom’s story will help others understand that “early detection is so critical.”
She concluded, “As someone who is an advocate for health and wellness, especially for Black women, I can’t stress enough how important it is to go to your doctor when something isn’t right and to do your at-home exams.”
For anyone stepping into a caregiving role, as Bailey did for her mother, she encourages giving yourself plenty of “grace” throughout the experience.
She also advised others to “lean on your positive affirmations” and “always make sure you are taking time to pour into yourself and refill your cup,” because “you can’t pour into someone else, when you are depleted.”
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Cynthia Bailey’s Mom’s Cancer Journey
Bailey’s mom was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago, after something popped up on a mammogram.
“She didn’t feel anything but it showed up on her most recent mammogram,” Bailey wrote in an August 2022 Instagram post. “By the grace of God, we caught it early & it is only stage one.”
RELATED: What resources are available to help caregivers manage the financial burden of cancer care?
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She ultimately underwent a lumpectomy to remove her cancer.
“Thank you for all the love, phone calls, texts and prayers everyone,” Bailey wrote, after her mom underwent surgery, under a picture of her sitting by her mother’s hospital bed. “My mother @barbarafmorris is a little anxious & nervous but otherwise in good spirits mentally and emotionally.
“Her blood pressure was too high to operate when they prepped her but thankfully they were able to get it down before the surgery. now we pray and wait.”
Her mom underwent both surgery and radiation treatments, but no chemotherapy.
In November 2022, Bailey informed fans her mom beat cancer, writing alongside a photo of the mother-daughter duo, “For everyone that has been asking for an update on my mom @barbarafmorris cancer journey, I am so excited to let you all know that today was her last day of radiation, and she is by the grace of God cancer free!
“Thanksgiving came early. Thank you all for your love, prayers & well wishes! Glory be to God!”
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Understanding Cancer Caregivers
Assuming the role of a cancer caregiver when a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend is diagnosed with cancer comes with a unique set of responsibilities. The first thing to understand is that there is no shame in asking for help. This can be an overwhelming time for both patients and their caregivers, too.
Through interviews with expert oncologists, social workers, patients advocates, and more, we’ve come up with a checklist of helpful steps cancer caregivers can take throughout the journey.
RELATED: The First Steps to Take as a Caregiver When a Loved One Is Diagnosed With Cancer
Cancer caregivers may:
- Attend doctor visits with the patient
- Help the patient take notes/ask questions
- Provide transportation to and from treatment
- Accompany the patient during treatment
- Help keep track of side effects
- Link up with a social worker/patient navigator
- Help with day-to-day activities
- Provide emotional support
Social Workers/Patient Navigators Can Help
Social workers or patient advocates can be a huge help for cancer caregivers during the journey. As a caregiver, you may want to enlist the help of one of these employees who often work for cancer centers for guidance on treatment options, financial assistance, where to seek mental health resources, and so much more.
“Patient navigators can function differently at different hospitals,” Dr. Kathie-Ann Joseph, a surgical oncologist at NYU Langone Health’s Perlmutter Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet. “We have a really wonderful program at [NYU] where we use lay navigators, meaning they’re not nurses, although you can use nurses or social workers, who pretty much help newly diagnosed cancer patients through the continuum of care.”
Dr. Kathie-Ann Joseph explains how patient navigators can help throughout the treatment process.
These navigators can meet with patients from their first doctor appointments and can also:
- Attend appointments
- Provide an assessment for the next steps of care
- Assist with housing, transportation, or immigration issues
- Help with financial issues
- Provide direction on legal issues
Where Cancer Caregivers Can Find Help With Finances
Figuring out finances can be particularly stressful for a cancer caregiver. It’s often difficult to find resources (and determine what assistance programs any given patient may be eligible for).
In some states, you may even be able to receive compensation for taking on the role of caregiver if you need to take time off from your everyday work.
If your loved one is being treated at a cancer center, you may be able to enlist the help of a social worker or patient navigator. These employees may be able to direct you towards financial assistance programs, help negotiate bills and payment plans, talk to your insurers, and link you up with advocacy groups.
There are also many options cancer patients and their loved ones can look to for assistance covering costs, including:
Covering Caregiver Costs
Some states offer compensation to cancer caregivers. You can check with the Department of Health and Human Services for local resources.
CancerCare also offers free services to caregivers, and its oncology social workers may be able to connect struggling caregivers with mental health professionals, support groups, and other resources.
For Help With Treatment Bills
The Cancer Financial Assistance Coalition can direct patients and their families to available local services.
Many treatment centers offer extended payment plans and some may offer temporary payment delays, according to the American Cancer Society.
CancerCare, which connects patients with oncology social workers, may be able to assist with co-pays, transportation, and other costs associated with care.
The HealthWell Foundation may be able to help uninsured patients pay for treatment.
The American Cancer Society may be able to link patients and their families up with local resources (they offer a 24/7 helpline).
The Patient Advocate Foundation (PAF) works with patients and their insurance companies to resolve issues and may provide direct financial support to some patients.
The Patient Access Network Foundation may be able to help with out-of-pocket costs associated with cancer treatment.
For Help With Transportation and/or Housing
Several programs, including Air Care Alliance, the Corporate Angel Network, and PALS (Patient Airlift Services), may be able to assist patients who need to travel by plane to get treatment.
Patients with Medicaid may be entitled to help paying for transportation costs to and from treatment.
The American Cancer Society’s Road to Recovery program can hook patients and their families with volunteer drivers.
Mercy Medical Angels may be able to help patients and their families pay for transportation.
The Healthcare Hospitality Network can assist with housing if a patient must be treated far from home.
The American Cancer Society Hope Lodge Program gives patients and their caregivers a free place to stay during treatment in dozens of cities across the U.S. and Puerto Rico.
For Help With Food
- Food assistance may be available to cancer patients and their caregivers. Look into the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program—aka SNAP—or a program like Meals on Wheels.
Pastor Tom Evans shares some advice for managing life as a caregiver.
Remember, Cancer Caregivers Should Seek Professional Help If They Need It
When a stressful life event occurs, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different and healthy ways to cope. For some people, this may mean seeking out traditional therapy, but it’s not the only option.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people may respond to stressors in very different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of being a cancer caregiver, there are many options to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
And Let Your Loved One Speak for Themselves
As a caregiver, your job is to help in many ways as this person in your life navigates a difficult disease. Cancer caregivers can help keep track of symptoms, manage finances, and even manage emotions, but they should also let the person they are caring for speak up about what they truly need throughout the process.
“Some of the best examples that I have seen in caregivers are those spouses or loved ones who really, almost sit back and they allow the patient or they want the patient to express what the patient feels first, rather than barging in,” Dr. Lea said. “…Step back a little bit and let the patient speak for themselves. Let them express what they are feeling. That is so important for the patient’s overall quality of life and well-being.”
In a previous conversation with SurvivorNet, breast cancer survivor Melissa Berry said that for her, it was really important that her family be patient as she navigated cancer treatment. She experienced intense emotions and explained that, at times, she just needed space as a patient.
“Cancer can be a huge strain on the entire family, and can definitely be a strain on relationships. And I think, in some ways, it can bring people together. It can make you much stronger, or it could weaken a relationship,” she explained.
“I experienced incredible mood swings, and I, at times, felt like I didn’t even recognize myself. I think that it’s important for the people that are close to the patient to understand that you’re going to be going through some really rough stuff, not just physically, but emotionally.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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