When it comes to New Year's resolutions, many make the standard "lose 10 pounds" and "be a better friend” promises — and then, more often than not, repeat the very same resolution the next year. After a cancer diagnosis, though, resolutions can take on new meaning.
"Whenever faced with a life-changing event, be it a diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, a divorce, or the death of a loved one, our priorities tend to shift, and we tend to stop sweating the small stuff," says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist and faculty member at Columbia University. "What seemed so important before pales in comparison to what one is now dealing with, and you realize what truly counts in life."
Read MoreBe Less Critical
"Before my ovarian cancer diagnosis eight years ago, I didn't make New Year's resolutions,” says Jacqueline Chartier, 54, of Calgary, Alberta. “Now, each new year offers me a fresh start and an opportunity to reevaluate what's important. My goal for 2020 is to live in the present, and not spend time regretting the past or worrying about the future. I pledge to be less critical of myself, and instead concentrate on my positive qualities and the valuable contributions that I'm able to make while I'm in this world."Say ‘No’
"After being diagnosed with testicular cancer in 2016, I started setting one large goal per year,” says Justin Birckbichler, 28, a fourth grade teacher in Fredericksburg, Va. “In 2017, my goal was to simply survive. The following year, I wanted to investigate why men aren’t taught about self exams. This year, I set out to give a TEDx talk about men’s health. I’m happy to say I’ve achieved all three goals! For 2020, I’m setting a personal resolution: I want to say 'no' more. When I say yes to something I’m not truly thrilled about, I’m saying no to myself and what I really want to do. I’ve been gifted a second chance at life, and it’s up to me to make the best of it."
Be in the ‘Right Here, Right Now’
"Every New Year, I used to sit with family and friends and discuss 'Name something new you did this year.' We'd take time to honor a new perspective, a new adventure,” says Michele Wheeler, 45, of Washburn, Wis., who has been living with metastatic breast cancer since 2016. “I used to value the deliberate consideration of new experiences. But life now, and how I think about it and share it with people around me, is different after my diagnosis. Because my stage 4 cancer continues to bully all available treatments … I try hard, now, NOT to think about the future. My resolve, instead, is to experience each moment for what it is — right here, right now, in the simple beauties of the present."
Spend More Time with Family
"My mets breast cancer diagnosis in 2019 reminded me how much I believe in quality over quantity in terms of material objects, experiences, relationships, food, pretty much everything. In 2020, I'm determined to spend more time with my parents, sisters, niece and nephews. In fact, instead of embarking on a solo adventure to celebrate my birthday this year, I’m taking my niece (age 11) and two nephews (ages 11 and 14) to Disneyland! I’m also interested in writing a (hopefully!) entertaining version of my life story. I want my family to know about what life was like for me, what I loved, what experiences most shaped me, and to get to know me as a person." (Anonymous, 49, from Salem, Ore.)
Live Purposefully
"Resolutions became more important to me since my breast cancer diagnosis in 2010,” says Barbara Tako. The 56-year-old is a two-time cancer survivor (breast cancer and melanoma) and author of “Cancer Survivorship Coping ToolsWe’ll Get You Through This,” and is from St. Paul, Minn. “One of my resolutions includes giving an in-person hug to someone who lives several states away from me, who greatly helped me through my cancer. Now I try to live each new year in a more purposeful way. I also focus more on family and friends and people and way less on 'stuff'."
To Be Thankful
"I feel that I have a much better outlook on life after my diagnosis of lung cancer nearly six years ago, and I've become more grateful,” says Grace Schmitt, 74, of Pittsburgh, Pa. “My resolutions for this year are to be thankful and love people and to be good to myself. I just got a clean scan during the holiday season, and that was the best gift going into the New Year, so I'm incredibly grateful that I get to enjoy another new year."
To Stop and Look
"Ever since my diagnosis in 2014, I look for ways to make my life less cluttered,” says breast cancer survivor and advocate AnnMarie Giannino-Otis, 47, who lives in upstate New York. “I want this year to be filled with beauty. Even the smallest things are beautiful — that raindrop on a window, a piece of cake, someone helping someone just because. I want to stop and see more of that."
Be More Empathetic
“I want to be more patient and empathetic,” says Natalie Barandes, 59, of Los Angeles, who was diagnosed with uterine cancer in 2012, and is now in remission.”And to give myself a break when I’m not either of those things.”
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